


The Breaking

by Raelae



Category: The Last of Us
Genre: Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-24
Updated: 2016-05-24
Packaged: 2018-06-10 08:59:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,688
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6949621
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Raelae/pseuds/Raelae
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>While on their ride toward the University, Ellie expresses her curiosity to know exactly what had happened between Joel and Tommy. Joel decides it might just be time to let a bit of the pat go, and obliges.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Breaking

The ride away from Tommy's settlement was rather quiet. On occasion Ellie would start to hum or whistle from behind him, but for the most part no words were spoken. He knew part of it was because of what happened back at the ranch house. He did feel like quite the asshole after he got to thinking about it, and he couldn't assume that Ellie would just up and get over it. She was happy he decided to continue with her, sure, but she was still angry for what he said. May not be as bad as it was back at the ranch, but it was still there, boiling beneath the surface.

He really couldn't understand the girl. Was she really so afraid of being alone that she'd be willing to stay with a grumpy old man with trust issues? Not to mention having to deal with his daughter issues. He had essentially been making her pay for something that wasn't her fault, and now thanks to Maria, she knew why. And although he still felt getting close to her was a really bad idea, he at least had to start treating her better than he was. None of this was her fault after all. She just got bit and suddenly became the cure for mankind, she didn't expect to get stuck with a cold hearted bastard like himself. Though...he wasn't even sure he could classify himself as that anymore.

He did let her in after all, gave her a gun and let her watch his back. And then he so easily allowed them to group up with Sam and Henry...something he only ever allowed with Tess. And now like Tess...they were gone too. Thus was life at the end of the world. Unless this cure somehow worked out anyway. 

He looked over his shoulder as he realized Ellie was talking. She wasn't talking to him though, she was talking to the horse. Honestly, compared to him the horse was probably a much better conversationalist at the moment.

Though...he had to pause when he started letting the words soak into his brain.

“Excuse me?”

“Hm?” She looked at him, cocking her head in confusion.

“The hell is a Callus?”

“...his name...”

“His...name? You telling me someone named the horse...Callus? Who had a dumb idea like that?”

She allowed for her eyes to dart to the side, ignoring his gaze.

“...you're kidding me.”

“Well, no one ever said what his name was.”

“So you decided to name him Callus? Where'd you even come up with that?”

“Just...you know...said a bunch of random shit till something sounded right. There was a kid back at the school that liked to write, he'd do that to make up names for his stories.

Joel just gave her a confused stare.

“...what? It works.”

He raised a brow.

“...you should watch where you're going...”

He took a moment before turning his head...right into a branch. He spat as a bunch of colorful leaves embedded themselves in his mouth. Ellie laughed from behind him.

“Ain't funny.” He grunted as he spit the last of them out.

“Hey, ain't my fault you weren't watching.”

He grunted again and kept his eyes on the path now, not looking forward to munching on more leaves.

 

It was quiet again for a while before Ellie spoke up again.

“Hey...Joel?”

“Hm?”

“What all...did happen between you and Tommy?”

“...I told you, he saw things one way, I saw them another.”

“No I mean...'what' happened?”

“...what's it matter?”

“I just...don't understand is all. He looked happy as hell to see you back there. Whatever happened...couldn't have been all that bad...if he was happy to see you.”

“...it's just...another one of those situations where time changes things. But it don't mean it heals them. Think he's still quite a bit bitter. But we're brothers...we're all we got...well, were. He's got Maria now after all. But back then...we never even had the chance to find out if our parents were alive or not, so it was only us. I just...wanted to be the big brother and keep him safe.”

“But...he didn't see it the same way, huh?”

“...no, no he did not.”

Joel went quiet for a bit, staring down as the wind blew Callus' mane around a bit. He sighed, deciding maybe it was okay to let a little bit slip.

“Yeah, alright. Like I said, he saw things one way and me another...and they were very different things.”

Ellie listened intently as Joel went on, unable to see his eyes as they drifted back to that day.

 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 

It had been a long day. Some of his contacts had been getting nervous as the military stepped up patrols around the Boston QZ. This culminated in some of them trying to slip away quietly, unfortunately that meant they were slipping away with his merchandise. He'd spent all afternoon chasing them down to get his product back and it had caused him to get into more than a few fights. So now as he finally returned to his now darkening apartment, he was more than a little banged up and bruised.

His mind on other things, and his body exhausted, he started to make his way towards his room, not noticing the shadow sitting in the room till it spoke.

Joel acted quickly, reaching for whatever was near enough to use as a weapon, as his own gun was stored in the tunnels.

“Relax brother.” The voice said as he reached to switch on the lantern, letting the light cast away the shadows of the room. It hadn't really gotten that dark quite yet, Joel just preferred to keep his windows covered, like he did whatever he could to keep the world out.

But the world found it's way inside, and it caused a deep scowl to form on his face.

“...Tommy. The hell you doing here?”

“Shit, nice to see you too brother.”

“Do not bullshit with me. I don't need any of your damn sarcasm today.” He growled as he instead made his way to the kitchen, digging out a bottle of whiskey he had hidden away.

“Then don't act like me being here is the worst thing to happen to you.”

“Right now that's pretty damn close.”

“Hells that supposed to mean?”

“What's it mean? Dammit Tommy. You ran off on me, your own brother. You split us up to go chasing whatever bullshit Marlene was feeding you. You left the only family you got for a fucking militia group. How's that supposed to make me feel?”

“I asked you to come.”

Joel only huffed as he took a swig straight from the bottle.

Tommy got up and made his way over, as he could see Joel was about to literally shrug him off.

“I gave you a chance Joel, to do something great.”

“Something great? And what the hell was that? That cause to find a cure? Well, got something to tell you little brother, there ain't no cure. World's been through that same ol' song and dance before, and every time we been disappointed. What makes you think a bunch of militia can do what scientists can't?”

“There's scientists with them you know.”

“Burned out scientists Tommy. Everyone’s exhausted about every lead they had. Time to face the facts, the worlds gonna end, for humans anyway.”

“You know Joel, you've been nothing but a goddamn critic since day one. There hasn't been even a small part of you that believed in the slightest that something good might just happen. Now, you can sit here and mock the Fireflies all you want, but the truth is they're still accomplishing more than any of those FEDRA assholes ever did.”

Joel huffed again as he took another swig. “Way I see it, all that's been happening is those two groups have just been at odds forever and people are just getting caught in the middle of it. Fireflies go pissing off FEDRA and FEDRA goes crying to the military, which in turn just ends in a bunch of fire fights and blood shed. Don't rightly see either group as doing much good.”

“Tch. You're preaching about the people getting caught in the middle of it. When the hell have you given two shits about the people caught in the middle of it? Last I remember you only saw people as a source of resources, and you ain't no different now.”

“Don't start going on about that again.”

“What? Don't remind you about all those people you killed when you thought being a hunter was a good idea?”

“I didn't have much of a choice Tommy!” Joel yelled as he slammed the bottle down on the counter. “We had two fucking options that day Tommy, join them or die!”

“And you decided answering for the both of us was the best option yeah?”

“What did you want me to do? We were surrounded by twenty...thirty guys at best. You think I coulda just said no and just, walk away? There was no other way out of that Tommy. I did it to save your ass!”

“And what about your ass?”

Joel only grunted as he leaned back against the counter, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Christ Joel. I can never tell half the time if you're just being over protective or suicidal. Probably a bit of both. How many situations have we found ourselves in hm? And we got outta all of them.”

“There was no getting out of that one and you know it. And you should be more fucking grateful for me sticking my goddamned neck out for you. I covered for you because you started refusing to do what you were told.”

“Fucking right I refused! I'm not a murderer Joel! There's a difference between killing for a cause or protecting others and just killing to take people's shit! I couldn't do that anymore!”

Joel pushed off the counter and rounded on him, stabbing his index finger right into Tommy's chest as hard as he could.

“Look around you Tommy! Morality's gone! Ain't no one gonna give two fucks in what you believe in! You do what you gotta to survive and nothing more! Only ones that mattered then was you and me, everyone else just got in the way!”

Tommy glared at him for a few moments, locking eyes with his unrelenting brother. It seemed like he always ended up having this same conversation with him over and over, and nothing he ever said did any good. Joel had become a stubborn asshole and it seemed that was just the way he was going to be now.

Grunting, Tommy brought his hand up and pushed Joel's hand away from his chest, throwing his hands up in the air as he turned away from him.

“Jesus, if she could see you now...” He muttered as he stopped over by the window, peeking out the small slit between the two ratty curtains.

“Excuse me?” Joel asked, voice rising in that warning tone.

Normally this is where Tommy would have backed down. His brother did nothing but infuriate him lately but he was still his brother, and he didn't want to cause a rift between them. But he had just about enough of his attitude.

He turned his head just enough to regard his older brother. “You heard me.”

“Don't Tommy. I swear to fucking god...”

“No, you don't. She's gone Joel, and you gotta stop making the rest of the world pay for it. Now I can understand you hating the military, that's obvious. But everyone else...wasn't their fault.”

“I'm not doing this Tommy.” Joel said, voice low and barely controlled. He waved a hand dismissively at him as he turned for the door.

“Yeah there you go. Just run away like you always do.”

Joel stopped mid stride, breathing getting heavier before he turned on his brother again. He grabbed him by the collar and slammed him against the wall, narrowing his eyes in further threat.

Tommy still did not back down, he only locked eyes with him, proving to him he was not just the little brother anymore. He had a mind of his own and it was set in it's ways now.

“...I ain't never ran...”

“Yes you have. Every time you do something to keep your mind from the thoughts. Every time you look at a little kid and scowl at them for being alive when Sarah ain't. And for that right there...not mentioning her name so you can continue to pretend it didn't happen. Cause long as it's unsaid...didn't happen then did it?”

Joel ground his teeth together, doing everything within his power to not just smash him in the jaw right then and there.

Finally, he just resigned to letting him go, mumbling something under his breath that Tommy couldn't quite catch. He returned to the kitchen and reached for the bottle again, not even looking at his brother as he took a couple deep gulps.

“Just head on back to your Fireflies.” He said at last. “Recon Marlene's probably got somethin for you to...mess with or somethin...”

“...this world is in pieces Joel. It's harder for people to find just where they belong. All anyone ever sees when they look around are the few groups that exist in the open. You're either military, FEDRA, Fireflies, hunters, bandits. or common folk just trying to get by. Hoping those walls will hold and that the military won't run out on them too, like so many have. You never see the other things in between unless you go looking. I'm looking. I'm not settling like you do. Hunting...smuggling...I wanna help people Joel, not hurt them. You could do the same too you know...”

“I'm done...Tommy. What you see out there...that's as good as it gets. Now you can go and...do whatever it is she has you doing. Preaching the word of your cause, taking out FEDRA and military...I don't fucking care. But all you're doing...ain't gonna amount to shit little brother. There's nothing left...there ain't gonna be nothin more.”

Again silence fell between the brothers. Tommy still didn't want to give up yet and was tying desperately to come up with something that could get through his brothers thick skull. But as he stood nearby, watching Joel drain every last drop he could out of that whiskey bottle...he knew nothing he said would ever be enough. Joel was a hurting man, a man who struggled every day with just being alive. He knew Joel would have traded his life in a heartbeat if he knew it would save Sarah. But would it be worth it? That was the one thing he would never voice to his brother, admitting it was probably better that Sarah wasn't here to face this hell.

In the end...there wasn't much he could do. He could stick around and watch his brother drink himself to death, or...whatever other way he might find to kill himself with. One thing Joel was, was being creative about death.

He still remembered, to his horror, being present for some of Joel's 'sessions'. Sometimes they'd keep a survivor to make sure no one else was hiding in town. Other times, they'd have a fellow hunter. Someone who decided his share of what they collected wasn't big enough. Either way, in the end, no one survived it. Joel was frighteningly good at his work, and over time they had opted to pull him from the rounds to keep him safe. He had become much more valuable as an interrogator, being able to get people to tell him anything they needed to know. Whether it be locations of other survivors, whether they stole or not, or locations of hidden stashes in the area.

Every one of theses sessions made Tommy's stomach turn and he always had to leave the room. 

Of course it was this very thing that made them have to find a way out. Since over time he had begun to refuse to kill anyone anymore, Joel did in fact have to cover for him. Now that he wasn't out actively hunting anymore...well they would have figured it out.

Their departure...didn't go without a hitch and Joel bludgeoned more than a few of them on the way out.

Tommy hardly looked at him the same again. And once they managed to make it to Boston, and he saw his brother fall into the shadier side again...well he knew it was time to think for himself.

“So that's it then huh?” Tommy said at last, earning him a glance from his brother. “You'll stay a smuggler then?”

“You look down on it so much don't you? Remember, us smugglers, are the ones getting meds and other things into the zone that FEDRA and those military bastards are holding back. So before you continue to call me a heartless prick, remember that.”

“Problem is that you don't think of that side of it.”

“Does it fucking matter? It's getting done ain't it? I'm making my way and I'm being productive. You're just holding on to pipe dreams.”

“You're running a goddamn cartel by all intensive purposes and I'm trying to save peoples lives! There is a fucking difference here! Fucking meds for people. Half those people putting orders in are just people with a fucking addiction to pain killers. You ain't helping them, you're killing them.”

“Not my problem what happens to them when they get in here. I just get them here.”

“Yeah, like I said, you ain't changed one damn bit.”

“Well get use to it Tommy, cause I'm only doing what I'm good at. I obviously failed at everything else in life, only seems right I'd be best at the worst side.”

“You know what, you can have it your way then. You wanna destroy yourself, wanna...cover your hands in layers of blood then do it. It's fine by me cause nothing I say is ever gonna make you think otherwise. But in the end you may as well admit that you enjoy it now. It comes to you as easy as breathing. I bet there's no one in the world who could ever remove you from it..not even your own fucking brother.”

“Yeah, the brother who left me behind for a group of lies.”

Tommy only shook his head and stalked his way to the door, only stopping long enough to turn and point a hard finger at him. 

“You know what? I never want to see your goddamned face again!”

And with that he threw the door open and disappeared, slamming it as hard as he could behind him.

 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 

“And that was that.” Joel said as he glanced over his shoulder at Ellie. “I thought he'd come back after he cooled off...apologize and all that. Even though he wasn't the one that should have. But he never did. Come to find out he left Boston all together...”

“Joel...I...”

He shook his head and looked forward, pulling on the reins slightly to correct their path.

“Heard not too long after that he left the Fireflies. Was expecting him to come back after that too. Again...he didn't. I drowned myself in booze and work after that. And kinda latched myself onto Tess more than the poor women woulda liked I'm sure...but I just didn't know how bad I didn't actually want to be alone...till Tommy was gone for sure.”

“Way I saw things...I don't think Tess minded the clinging all that much.”

“...no...she sure didn't.”

“And...now? After seeing him again? You gonna take him up on his offer?”

“I think it depends on how things go with all this. Doubt you wanna be wandering around for the rest of your life.”

She gave him a look but he didn't see it since his eyes were locked on the path ahead. Didn't mean he couldn't feel her eyes at the back of his head though.

“I recon it wouldn't be half bad coming back here though. Real nice quiet place. We'll see..I guess. For all we know Tommy might even change his mind.”

“Pffft. Fucking doubt that.”

“Heh...hope you're right about that.”

“Why don't we get Callus here to go faster? Sooner we get there the sooner we can get back.”

“...Eh...I hate that name...”

“Fucking deal with it.”

“You know, one day I'm gonna find me a dog and I'm gonna name it the most annoying thing possible and see how you like it.”

“That the best comeback you got?”

“...for now...”

“Tch. Keep fucking trying Joel, maybe you'll get good at it one day.”

“I'll work on it. In the meantime, lets change the subject.”

“Can you tell me more about your time?”

“...my time? Making me sound really damn old.”

“Uh...Joel...” She plucked out a gray hair, making her point without speaking it.

“Yes, and thank you for helping me get one step closer to being bald.”

“You're welcome.”

“...my time, right. Well I sure as hell got a lot to choose from and we got a ways to go yet, so get comfortable.”

He thought for a moment before pulling something from memory and going on. He was slowly starting to find that he liked these easy conversations, not realizing till now how much he missed them. And he was slightly amused by how Ellie lapped up everything he said, no doubt storing every piece away to memory, asking here and there if he was bullshitting her or not.

Yeah, he could get use to this life again. And he was sure he could enjoy living back at Tommy's too. After all, he realized he had a lot to apologize for. And all because this little red headed girl refused to let him stay a grumpy old man.

**Author's Note:**

> So I wanted to do something with this subject for sometime but just didn't get around to it. So with work getting a little stressful with the up coming holiday, I decided now was the time. What better way to remove stress than to right something with a little emotion behind it hm?  
> Add that to the fact I've finished uncharted 4 already and started playing The Last Of Us again...and you get this.
> 
> Go Naughty Dog. >>


End file.
